How the Navy Taught Its Engineers About Them New Fangled Computer Machines Back in 1962

Guy Called the Cops Because His Spicy McChicken Was Too Spicy

http://kotaku.com/5937520/guy-called-the-cops-because-his-spicy-mcchicken-was-too-spicy?utm_medium=referral&utm_source=pulsenews

Brian Ashcraft

According to reports out of China, a man in Guangzhou phoned the police because he thought the Spicy McChicken he ordered was too darn spicy.

After getting his food, the man sat down and took a bite. Website The Nanfang reports that the man seemed surprised by his sandwich, so he called over a McDonald's employee to take a bite. Then, supposedly, the hot-mouthed man called the police!

When the police arrived, the officer tried to get the man to calm down. The McDonald's even went the extra mile, giving him a cola and some grilled chicken legs.

As The Nanfang points out, most people online in China think this guy has mental problems (or maybe he just thought he ordered a regular McChicken?), but did note that he was able to score two meals for the price of one. Don't forget internet fame—he got that, too!

TAIWAN PROMOTES THE LADY WEE

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-19390785

Taiwan minister says men should sit down to urinate

A Taiwanese minister has caused widespread debate on hygiene by suggesting that men should sit down while urinating instead of standing up.

Stephen Shen, Environmental Protection Administration (EPA) minister, said that sitting on the toilet like women do creates a cleaner environment.

This has generated a lot of online debate, says the BBC's Cindy Sui.

Officials are to ask local governments this week to put up notices in public places advising men to sit.

While many women in social media websites favour the suggestion, a lot of men say it would be hard to stop doing what they are used to, our correspondent in Taipei adds.

But EPA officials insist that it can be done.

"We want to learn from Japan and Sweden," said Yuan Shaw-jing, EPA director general of environmental santitation and toxic substance maintenance.

"In Japan, we heard 30% of the men sit," he added.

Inspectors regularly grade Taiwan's estimated 100,000 public toilets, with most of receiving high marks. But EPA officials say there is room for improvement, as some toilets are still smelly because of urine spatter.

While the agency said that it cannot force men to change their habits, it will ask local governments this week to put notices in public toilets with the suggestion.

As for Mr Shen, the EPA confirmed that he himself practices what he suggests - at home and while using public toilets.

Football 365 mediawatch

http://www.football365.com/mediawatch/8027667/Mediawatch

Non-Football Story Of The Day
'A tourist who was declared missing and the subject of an intense police search had no idea she was missing, and in fact took part in the search itself. The story began on Saturday, Morgunblaðið reports, when a woman who was described as "Asian, about 160cm, in dark clothing and speaks English well" was declared missing somewhere in the vicinity of Eldgjá, in south Iceland. The search went on throughout the weekend, with no sign of the woman found. However, yesterday morning, she was reported found - and had no idea she was missing in the first place.

'This was apparently the result of a misunderstanding regarding her appearance. While it was initially reported that she had stepped off the bus at Eldgjá and never returned, in fact she changed clothing before getting back on the bus. To make matters more surreal, she had even taken part in the search, without realising at first that she was the one people were looking for. Eventually, it occurred to her that she could very well be the "missing person" being described, and reported the matter to the police. The search was called off shortly thereafter' - Grapevine.is.

Runner-Up
'A man aiming to start hoax rumours of a Bigfoot sighting in the United States was run over and killed as he stood in the road trying to startle drivers. He was wearing a camouflage suit and would have been hard to see, said police in Montana. The man was hit by one car as he stood facing traffic, and second one hit him as he lay in the road after the impact. Police said Randy Lee Tenley (44) of Kalispell may have been drinking but are awaiting tests. He was trying to make people think he was Sasquatch so people would call in a Sasquatch sighting," trooper Jim Schneider said.

"You can't make it up. I haven't seen or heard of anything like this before. Obviously, his suit made it difficult for people to see him. He probably would not have been very easy to see at all." Mr Tenley was struck by vehicles driven by two girls, ages 15 and 17, who were unable to stop in time, police said' - AP.

India vagina gel: 'Why the hell should you be tightening anything?'

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-radio-and-tv-19405113

Chocolate may protect the brain from stroke

Chocolate might not be the healthiest thing for your waistline - but research suggests it may protect against stroke.

A study following more than 37,000 Swedish men showed those eating the most chocolate were the least likely to have a stroke.

It follows on from other studies that have suggested eating chocolate can improve the health of the heart.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-19402143

Procrastination: Readers' tales of epic time-wasting

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-19396204

A friend of mine, who I'll call "Dave" (because that was his name) said he would do anything to avoid A-level revision. At one point he infamously found himself weighing the cat, convinced that he would only be able to settle down to work if he had that data to hand. As a result, some 25 years later, the act of procrastination is referred to by my family as "weighing the cat". Ian Whitten, Sittingbourne, Kent

I am a teacher, I once left a set of books unmarked for so long I was embarrassed to give them back to the students yet again unmarked. So I hid them, then went into the classroom and told them they had been stolen. Sonia, London

I bought a book called 52 Steps To Defeating Procrastination. I've still never read it - it was over 10 years ago, and I'm not even sure where it is now. Craig, Bedfordshire, UK

I started up the Stirling University Procrastination Society in 1980. It was a resounding success. Not one person bothered to return their registration form on time and we never got round to holding any meetings. Well done us. Yay!JohnB, Berkshire

is this the fastest kick it the world?

4 WORDS THAT SHOULD BE CREATED
http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-words-that-someone-should-have-invented-by-now/?utm_medium=referral&utm_source=pulsenews

#4. Surprise Boner

By the time I'd made it to college, I thought I had a pretty good handle on what qualities I found attractive in a woman. I like my women like I like my coffee; hot, just a little bit sweet, black, (but I'm also fine if it's tan, or white [I often put too much milk into my coffee, but that's okay]), likes movies, tells funny jokes, watches too much television, appreciates my funny funny dances, is impressed with how fast I am, and gets along well with my dog.

The perfect cup of coffee/...woman?

(I'm not great at metaphors.)

My point is that, by a certain age, I thought I knew the basic, superficial things that I found attractive in a person. "No more surprises in the attractiveness department," was a phrase I probably said out loud.

Then all of that changed. One night, I was on a double date with my buddy and some women that he knew from a place, (I'm not great at remembering details). We went to the beach, because that's where poor people go when they want to be romantic. This particular beach had a bunch of large rocks, and because I wanted to impress my date, (and because I'm crazy good at climbing and jumping), I spent some time climbing and subsequently jumping from rock to rock. In accordance with a clause in the tenuous laws that balance the universe, I'm not actually allowed to be impressive in front of women, so naturally I slipped off one of the rocks and sliced the ever-loving crap out of my hand.

Photos.com
"Nah, I'm fine, baby, I like it better this way. So, like what's your sign?"

I tried to walk it off like I was fine, as if bleeding was just one of the cool guy tricks I'd perfected after years of practice, and that everything would be okay if everyone would just promise not to look at me, but my date calmly washed the wound, and before I could say anything else, she ripped a long shred of cloth from the t-shirt I was wearing with her bare hands and made a makeshift tourniquet out of it. She wrapped it tight around my hand and, when I winced, said "Don't be a pussy."

And that's when I figured out Yes. That. I am also looking for that in a woman.

The first beat was "Wow, that was hot" and the second beat was "Really? I'm into that? Huh." That sort of thing happens all the time in life. You think you know what you're looking for, and then someone will do something that'll make you realize, for the first time, that you're extremely attracted to that particular thing. Previously, I had no idea that the kind of woman who could completely Rambo a shirt and then make fun of me was attractive to me, but after that night, obviously of course it was always true.

It's when something both surprises and arouses, and I'd like there to be a word for this.

Annoying, Speed-Related Car Thing

#2. Hatred: Confirmed

#1. Horizon Blockers

APPLE KILLS STAR TREK

GET BACK THIS BABIES ARE ANGRY

Signed, sealed, undelivered

http://web.orange.co.uk/article/quirkies/Signed_sealed_undelivered

A romantic prankster almost suffocated when he mailed himself to his girlfriend in a sealed box - and got lost in the post.

Hu Seng, from Chongqing city, southern China, paid a courier firm to deliver him to partner Li Wang as a joke.

But couriers mixed up the address and instead of 30 minutes in the sealed box, gasping Seng was trapped for nearly three hours.

By the time the package finally arrived at his girlfriend's office, where a friend was waiting to record her surprise on camera, Seng had passed out and had to be revived by paramedics.

"I didn't realise it would take so long," admitted Seng. " I tried to make a hole in the cardboard but it was too thick and I didn't want to spoil the surprise by shouting."

A spokesman for the courier commented: "If he'd told us what he was doing at the start we would not have taken the parcel.

"Even when we accept animals they have to go in special containers so they can breath."

Naked salute for Harry group takes off

http://web.orange.co.uk/article/quirkies/Naked_salute_for_Harry_group_takes_off

More than 20,000 people have joined a Facebook group encouraging army personnel to strip in support of Prince Harry.

The group, entitled 'Support Prince Harry with a naked salute!', features users of the social network posing in various states of undress saluting the third-in-line to the throne.

Strategically placed props including union flags, backpacks and teddy bears have been used to preserve group members' modesty.

"If you have served or are serving in the military I want to see a naked salute in support of Prince Harry," explains the group's description.

"Please cover your crown jewels, tag yourself in your photo as proof of your support to the nations favourite royal!"

The group was set up in response to leaked pictures, first published by a US website, showing the prince naked in his hotel suite in Las Vegas.

'I was arrested for being a spy' - Worst homework excuses revealed

Stories involving fictitious dogs eating pretend pieces of homework are being ditched by students favouring far more imaginative excuses involving ghosts and international espionage.

Being declared dead, erupting volcanoes and the outbreak of civil war are just some of the unbelievable excuses that British lecturer John Curry has heard from students over the last 14 years.

The City of Bath College computer expert said many of the unusual, but mostly legitimate, explanations for not completing work were from students looking for 24 hour extensions.

'Some of the excuses seem pretty improbable, but when you have someone's death certificate in their hands, you have to accept their excuse,' Mr Curry told the Times Higher Education Supplement.

One student even claimed he had wrongly been arrested for being a Chinese spy before being released just in time to plead for a deadline extension.

Another was granted an extension because the Indian government had attempted to seize his home after he had been declared legally dead.

'I was grieving over the death of my World Of Warcraft character, was another excuse offered by one misguided pupil.

However one student did manage to gain some extra time after convincing the lecturer they were bring spooked by a ghost.

'That person genuinely believed there was a ghost and I actually accepted their word and gave them a few more hours,' he explained.

'I'm actually more sympathetic to someone who just says "I have not done the work" because they are being honest. I might give them a few more hours.

'However, that is very, very rare - it's only happened on one occasion.'

The lecturer also said that previously accepted excuses relating to IT mishaps were no longer likely to be accepted.

'Students are told to back up their work, and universities now have extensive IT facilities if something happens,' he said.

'Some of the excuses are just [a way] to stall for 24 hours. If you go on social media, you can improve your mark marginally by just picking up on the gossip about a paper.

'I think lecturers are more aware that undergraduates communicate with each other like this.'

Wheel Clamp Man to the rescue

http://web.orange.co.uk/article/quirkies/Wheel_Clamp_Man_to_the_rescue

A mystery caped crusader who calls himself Wheel Clamp Man has been hailed a hero by motorists for setting free their cars.

The man, who sports a green lycra costume with multi-coloured socks and black Speedo trunks, uses an angle grinder to remove wheel clamps.

Wheel Clamp Man, who has been helping motorists in the Australian city of Perth for weeks, was inspired to act after he was clamped himself.

"I went to a car park, pulled in, couldn't see any signs, and I must have walked less than 100 yards and I was clamped," he told a local newspaper. "It was a con because they were watching."

He took his inspiration from Britain's Angle Grinder Man who wore a blue leotard and removed clamps in London and Kent almost a decade ago.

"I'm helping people out," he said. "I don't feel I'm damaging property.

"The amount of money these companies make off innocent people is insane. Where does that money go? Not into car parks or safer streets. It goes into their pocket."

In return for saving motorists a £90 release fee, he asks for a small donation which he reportedly gives to the homeless.

However, the motorists' superhero has been described as a menace by police.

A Western Australia police spokesman said: "He is committing the offence of criminal damage. We will deal with him."

Jacko copies Fredo

Canadian couple adopt pool and pub-loving grizzly bear Billy

Grizzly bear Billy is used to being treated just like one of the family- enjoying nothing more than watching TV with his adopted parents and joining them on trips to the local pub.

Related Tags:: Canada

Mark and Dawn Dumas enjoying a game of pool with Billy the grizzly bear at their local pub in Langley, Canada (Picture: Barcroft)

ITS MAD I TELL YOU

Hosks Friday Fun

Friday, 31 August 2012

THIS SPICY CHICKEN IS TOO DAMN SPICY